From stormy weathers to clear skies
Conflicts exist in almost all forms of human relationships. If you want to have a conflict-free or stress-free life, then all your asking is to be dead or in a mentally incapacitated state of being. It’s a sad fact. We can never avoid conflicts. The best thing to do is to handle and face it rather than avoid it. As what a famous quote says, “What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.” Conflicts can either make the relationship stronger or break it.
I learned handling one of the biggest conflicts we had the hard way. I nearly lost her. I know that if I did, I could only blame myself for being so immature in dealing with it. I ran away from it and tried to just shove it away and forget it. It was a mistake. It was an utterly stupid mistake. I knew she was hurt but I was acting according to what I thought was right and it broke her heart. I broke her heart. It was my fault and I felt really sorry for being such a pain and burden to her. She loves me so much and I felt all the effort she was exerting in our relationship. But I was too arrogant to take it for granted. I nearly lost someone so precious and dear to me in a blink of an eye.
But for some reason, we came to finally level down our emotions and talked about it. I realized how much lost it could have been if I did lost her. It was such a blessing and I felt so thankful that I still love her. She loves me and I love her. I don’t find it mushy nor corny writing in this blog how grateful I am to still have her with me. I love her now more than I loved her then. She is such a wonderful friend, a caring partner, and blessing from God.
There were times that she told me, what’d she do right to deserve her having me. But actually, it is I who feels more blessed and sometimes thinks undeserving to be given the chance to love her and be loved back. I admit I am the immature one in the relationship. Everyday, I am learning and growing with her. Everyday, I am becoming dependent of her — dependent of her loving. Dependent of the daily cares she continually gives me. I loved her then and now I can’t help to tell her that I love her more. It is hard to keep a long distance relationship going. But it is even harder to just let go and lose her. It is painful to being not able to see or touch her everyday. But it is even more painful to give up on her and realize that I will no longer have her in my life. One has to choose. I choose to keep it. To hold on to the love she gives and to the love I give her. It works on both ways. Or rather, it will work if both ways work.
To the woman who gave me another chance – thank you.
- Neil –
