From stormy weathers to clear skies
Conflicts exist in almost all forms of human relationships. If you want to have a conflict-free or stress-free life, then all your asking is to be dead or in a mentally incapacitated state of being. It’s a sad fact. We can never avoid conflicts. The best thing to do is to handle and face it rather than avoid it. As what a famous quote says, “What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.” Conflicts can either make the relationship stronger or break it.
I learned handling one of the biggest conflicts we had the hard way. I nearly lost her. I know that if I did, I could only blame myself for being so immature in dealing with it. I ran away from it and tried to just shove it away and forget it. It was a mistake. It was an utterly stupid mistake. I knew she was hurt but I was acting according to what I thought was right and it broke her heart. I broke her heart. It was my fault and I felt really sorry for being such a pain and burden to her. She loves me so much and I felt all the effort she was exerting in our relationship. But I was too arrogant to take it for granted. I nearly lost someone so precious and dear to me in a blink of an eye.
But for some reason, we came to finally level down our emotions and talked about it. I realized how much lost it could have been if I did lost her. It was such a blessing and I felt so thankful that I still love her. She loves me and I love her. I don’t find it mushy nor corny writing in this blog how grateful I am to still have her with me. I love her now more than I loved her then. She is such a wonderful friend, a caring partner, and blessing from God.
There were times that she told me, what’d she do right to deserve her having me. But actually, it is I who feels more blessed and sometimes thinks undeserving to be given the chance to love her and be loved back. I admit I am the immature one in the relationship. Everyday, I am learning and growing with her. Everyday, I am becoming dependent of her — dependent of her loving. Dependent of the daily cares she continually gives me. I loved her then and now I can’t help to tell her that I love her more. It is hard to keep a long distance relationship going. But it is even harder to just let go and lose her. It is painful to being not able to see or touch her everyday. But it is even more painful to give up on her and realize that I will no longer have her in my life. One has to choose. I choose to keep it. To hold on to the love she gives and to the love I give her. It works on both ways. Or rather, it will work if both ways work.
To the woman who gave me another chance – thank you.
- Neil –
A lot of love
One of the memorable moments at that time was when the aprilfools invited me to their outing in Intosan. I wasn’t entirely comfortable with the whole idea. Don’t get me wrong… the aprilfools are one fun and great bunch! But I wasn’t exactly close to anyone in particular, except for Neil. But then again, I thought that it would be fun to hang out with them, considering that I didn’t have anything else fun to do… and that it would give me a chance to seduce… uhhhm, get to know… Neil better. He told me that the aprilfools were starting to tease the two of us especially since I was invited. They even made a codename for me… RF! How subtle is that?! hehehe!
So then came the day for the outing. Everything went great and I was having fun! I got to meet Stephen who was from Epson and turned out to be a frequent guest in their activities. James also came with the group which made me more comfortable because there was somebody else who wasn’t an aprilfool. When we got to Intosan, the day was quite warm so I was feeling a little lethargic. After lunch, I ended up staying with the other girls inside the airconditioned room that they rented. The other girls were playing cards and I was watching tv. I think I can remember Neil saying something like we didn’t go all the way to Intosan just to watch tv hehehe! What can I say? The weather outside was hot, I just ate a cholesterol-laded lunch, and the airconditioning just felt right… so who can blame me if I was feeling a little sluggish? I know… excuses.
Feeling a little guilty, I joined the others outside. Most of the guys already went swimming while most of us girls were waiting for the sun to lower down a bit. Soon after that, I joined them in the pool. One of the highlights of that outing was the picture-taking 
I don’t remember exactly how Neil and I ended up having those pictures taken of the two of us. All I can remember was that I was enjoying myself tremendously. I was having fun hanging out with him and I didn’t mind at all having those pictures taken.
Then, there was… the slide. Sheesh… it makes me cringe to remember that. I am, by nature, scared of long slides. I think everybody else was enjoying going down that slide again and again. I went down the slide only twice. I stopped after the second time because I practically forced myself to stop sliding halfway down the slide. To think that he was such a gentleman to go with me back up. I was yelling back to Neil and the others to get me and pull be back up! I was that pathetic… :p Of course, it was all just part of my plan to get him to rescue me. But seeing that the plan wasn’t working, I finished sliding all the way down and tried to look like I was having fun while my insides were shaking… Jaspher was taking pictures so I had no choice. After that, it was all just picture-taking with the rest of the aprilfools… thank goodness.
After dinner, then came the ever-present drinking of alcohol… during that time, it was baileys and tequila. One of my numerous allergies includes strong alcohol, like tequila and vodka. So after the third round of tequila, my face was already red and the color was spreading to my arms and chest. Being a light drinker, the third round of tequila (plus a couple of shots of baileys) was more than enough to make my world spin. Neil very graciously gave me some water to drink and accompanied me to the room to rest. The door was wide open in full view of the rest of the aprilfools… I just wanted to clear that up just in case some of you came up with the wrong ideas 
It was one of those moments that I was thankful that I had allergies. Neil then offered to walk with me around the pool to help clear my head. Due to the very heavy influence of alcohol, I agreed right away So there we were, talking yet again while we strolled by the pool. Allow me to say that it was a very romantic moment… despite my throbbing head and my allergy. I enjoyed that simple walk under the monlight with Neil… with the wind blowing and clearing my head. When I was sober enough not to feel my head throb anymore, I simply allowed myself to enjoy the moment with him. Just looking at him and listening to him talk… realizing that I was with a guy who had a lot of love and care to share with other people.
- Rachel
Something very, very right…
I’d like to make my first post in this blog about how it all began between me and my… ehem… love! I know… the petname sounds very corny. Actually, I think this blog is going to be filled with corny topics because it’s all about the two of us. So if you’re allergic towards anything related to romance and love, I’d suggest that you best stop reading right now But for the rest of you, please bear with us as we try to share bits and pieces of our… uhhh… story 
For my part, it all began when Neil and I started hanging out during the NSP Sportsfest 2005. We were both members of the yellow team and we just got around to spending more time together… especially with the cheerdance practice and the Bb. Kusgan preparations. But we were already friends before then. I guess Neil was just the kind of guy whom people feel comfortable to be with. He’s funny, laughs at even the silliest jokes (he has this really big laugh like he puts his heart into it hehe), a good listener and a smart one at that. Those were all I knew about him then because we never really had the chance to know each other better. Although, I can remember that Emman sometimes teases me and tells me that Neil had a crush on me hahaha! buking!
Anyway, going back to the sportsfest, I wasn’t exactly planning on falling for Neil… I liked somebody else and I also knew that Neil liked somebody else At that time, my lovelife was a little complicated. I won’t go into details about it kay basin makilatan ko. Let me just say that amidst all that, Neil and I grew closer. There were a lot of issues that kept on popping up in my life but there was one thing that was constant… Neil… whaaah! corny! tsk tsk but it’s the truth. He was just an IP message away and even a few cubicles away from me. Aside from my dear friends Leslie and Helen, he became someone whom I could count on. As the days went by, I found myself caring for him more than I expected.
Pardon me for the lack of details but I will share a little about that time when he really got through to me. It was at a certain coffee shop in SM There we were… talking and talking about anything, as usual. It was one of those talks that ended way after midnight. Then, I shared with him THE secret. With me teary-eyed and at the brink of sobbing, he was there offering comfort and… believe it or not, he was a little teary-eyed himself hehehe! He didn’t need to say anything much to me… what I saw was more than enough. I saw compassion and heart-felt concern… which is more than I can say for many of the guys today. At that moment, I knew that I found someone special. I knew that even if we didn’t end up together, I’d still keep Neil as a very good friend. So it goes without saying that luckily for me, we did end up together Shucks… I must have done something very, very right to have been blessed with him in my life.
<The picture at the start of this post was taken during one of those long conversations.>
- Rachel
